Our Simon Birch Moment
If you have ever watched the movie "Simon Birch", you will well remember the epic scene where the children were performing their Christmas Pageant and a good 'ole PUKE FEST began.
As parents we all have a comedic moment where our children lost their cookies at the most in-opportune time. I am sure you all have the "one" story that everyone in the family remembers just like it was yesterday. Our family is no different.
It was a crisp and clear night in December, we had all gathered at my in-laws for a Christmas Dinner. Grandparents, Great Grandma, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins; we were all there. The night came to an end, my husband and I rounded up our four children and strapped them in the mini-van for the trip home. His 80 year old grandmother was sitting in the front seat, hands folded in lap, looking straight ahead and I was parked in the middle bench beside my second eldest child.
As we backed out of the rather lengthy drive, I heard, "I'm not feeling well, I think I am going to be sick."
BLAAAA...WOOFFF....AAARRFFFF
A very unattractive, unpleasant sight and smell filled the van as Daughter #2 suddenly let loose. Panic consumed the vehicle, but only heightened when the eldest yelled, "Mom..."
BLAAAA...WOOOF...AARRRFFF!!!
Round two of icky smelling, bile filled, substance covered the seats, clothes, myself, and kids!
"OMG, what do we do now?"
I was screaming at my husband to stop the car, the kids were crying and making horrid noises, JD was screaming back at me to get them out of the van. He slammed on the breaks just as I opened the sliding door and began pulling the kids out of the cesspool we found ourselves in. JD quickly jumped out of the driver's side door to run around to assist, only to realize he forgot to put the van in Park.
So here we are, trying to exit the van; van is rolling backwards down the drive, JD is yelling profanities and chasing the vehicle as is makes its way down the snowy drive, children are flying out of the door and I am waving my hands and screaming, all while Grandma sits quietly in the front seat, hands folded, seeming oblivious to all the chaos around her.
Eventually JD was able to climb back into the driver's seat and stop the vehicle. Two of four children were then retching their guts out on the nice white snow, the other two screaming frantically from car seats. Pristine Christmas coats and dresses were covered in ick as we began trudging back to my In-Laws doorstep. Looking up at the house I saw the remainder of the family spectating from the living room window with bulging eyes and puzzled looks.
All they saw was people jumping out of the vehicle which was rolling backwards down the drive people running around with arms in the air, and children flying through the air into the snow! I am positive it was reminiscent of a Mr. Bean moment. Holy Smokes...who wants to see the show?
"Yes, this would happen to me, always me. My life is so FREAKIN crazy!!! Stop this train I am gettin' off!" I looked up at JD's Grandma with amazement, "WTH how can she just sit there?"
Once we had cleaned up what we could of the collateral damage, we proceeded to take Grandma home. Never once did she flinch, freak out, or even question what had just happened. I guess a mother of seven and grandmother of many had seen it all.
God Bless Her!
As parents we all have a comedic moment where our children lost their cookies at the most in-opportune time. I am sure you all have the "one" story that everyone in the family remembers just like it was yesterday. Our family is no different.
It was a crisp and clear night in December, we had all gathered at my in-laws for a Christmas Dinner. Grandparents, Great Grandma, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins; we were all there. The night came to an end, my husband and I rounded up our four children and strapped them in the mini-van for the trip home. His 80 year old grandmother was sitting in the front seat, hands folded in lap, looking straight ahead and I was parked in the middle bench beside my second eldest child.
As we backed out of the rather lengthy drive, I heard, "I'm not feeling well, I think I am going to be sick."
BLAAAA...WOOFFF....AAARRFFFF
A very unattractive, unpleasant sight and smell filled the van as Daughter #2 suddenly let loose. Panic consumed the vehicle, but only heightened when the eldest yelled, "Mom..."
BLAAAA...WOOOF...AARRRFFF!!!
Round two of icky smelling, bile filled, substance covered the seats, clothes, myself, and kids!
"OMG, what do we do now?"
I was screaming at my husband to stop the car, the kids were crying and making horrid noises, JD was screaming back at me to get them out of the van. He slammed on the breaks just as I opened the sliding door and began pulling the kids out of the cesspool we found ourselves in. JD quickly jumped out of the driver's side door to run around to assist, only to realize he forgot to put the van in Park.
Sh**!
So here we are, trying to exit the van; van is rolling backwards down the drive, JD is yelling profanities and chasing the vehicle as is makes its way down the snowy drive, children are flying out of the door and I am waving my hands and screaming, all while Grandma sits quietly in the front seat, hands folded, seeming oblivious to all the chaos around her.
Eventually JD was able to climb back into the driver's seat and stop the vehicle. Two of four children were then retching their guts out on the nice white snow, the other two screaming frantically from car seats. Pristine Christmas coats and dresses were covered in ick as we began trudging back to my In-Laws doorstep. Looking up at the house I saw the remainder of the family spectating from the living room window with bulging eyes and puzzled looks.
All they saw was people jumping out of the vehicle which was rolling backwards down the drive people running around with arms in the air, and children flying through the air into the snow! I am positive it was reminiscent of a Mr. Bean moment. Holy Smokes...who wants to see the show?
"Yes, this would happen to me, always me. My life is so FREAKIN crazy!!! Stop this train I am gettin' off!" I looked up at JD's Grandma with amazement, "WTH how can she just sit there?"
Once we had cleaned up what we could of the collateral damage, we proceeded to take Grandma home. Never once did she flinch, freak out, or even question what had just happened. I guess a mother of seven and grandmother of many had seen it all.
God Bless Her!
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